The Lizard Queen!

No, this is not a reinvention of Cher’s Half–Breed from 1973, but I bet she would look pretty awesome in that feathered headdress. Right! I’ll admit that I’d probably put the thing on too … sans the bikini, of course. I wouldn’t want to send the lizards scampering for the hills.

The Lizard Queen is the second image in my digital series titled The Collectibles. A special kind of gal, she’s my tribute to classical fantasy which was made golden by the breathtaking paintings of Frazetta and Vallejo. However, The Lizard Queen also represents a reflection; a look back to a time when plastic action figures took a significant leap forward in their design.

Take my hand for a moment, and let’s travel back to the year 1994 when the Spawn line of toys were first hitting the shelves. For me, that’s when collectible toys really took a huge leap forward. These new toys were bigger, dripping with copious amounts of detail (in comparison to previous toys), and they offered up what I’ll call ‘some edge’ that other toys just didn’t seem to have. Spawn toys offered us geeks a delicious amount of blood and gore, divine wrath, fear from what lurks in the shadows, and all of that at a very affordable price. What more could you ask for.

A year later, one action figure in particular that I’ll never forget was named Angela—also a bit of inspiration for my Lizard Queen. Angela was a scantly clad warrior with a dagger strapped to her thigh along with a winged headdress partnered with decorative armor that covered her breasts, shoulders, arms, and feet. The geeks back then hadn’t seen toys like this. How bold those boobies seemed! How shocking to see so much skin.

Of course those early figures were simply ‘testing the waters’ in my opinion, because not long after that collectible action figures started to show up everywhere with bulging and vein–covered muscles, honkin’ manly pecs, warrior vixens with cleavage ample enough to make Dolly Parton gasp, and also a strange sense of mild eroticism—an aspect which might only exist in my eyes since my mind tends to jump into the gutter quite frequently. But there ain’t no cure for who you are! Or so momma always said.

Sadly, though, my collecting days are over. Yet, my beloved Lizard Queen, you take me back to a time when the aisles of several local Toys R Us stores ran pale with sunlight deprived geeks and their money–loaded pockets; when classical fantasy took a bold leap from the canvas and onto the shelves where it eventually settled into the hands of those who abhor reality.

Fun times.

“So … thank you, Frank. Thank you, Boris. And thank you, Todd,” graciously spoke the Lizard Queen. “I wouldn’t be here without you.”